Shoprite, a grocery store chain in the northeast, advertised their black history month sale in the sunday fliers. At first I thought my sister was joking. Here's whats on sale this week:

Cola (not Coke or Pepsi)
Glory greens
fruity pebbles
bacon
pork chops
ham
sausage
bologna
chicken nuggets
buffalo wings
honey buns
carrot cake
tampico (the ghetto sunny d)
coco butter products
diapers
smelts

IF-NO-RANT!!!! They killed me with the coco butter and the honey buns. I would have sent you guys the link but they managed to exclude that page of the flier on their website, and have inserted the Valentine's Day special in its place.

BBTF called a meeting today which was held in this tiny ass old school conference room; so it was me, Chinadude, BBTF and four other random people. BBTF is yackin off and all of a sudden we hear someone's stomach rumble. Then Chinadude in his broken english says, "Scuse me." This dude farted something serious. All of a sudden the tiny conference room had permeated with the stench of ass. I tried hard to control my laughter which ended up turning in to an uncontrollable smirk. Fcukin disgusting.

I told you the people i work with are stupid. In my office we deal with a lot of different international accounts, which means we have telephone meetings with people from all over the world. So i overhear dude next to me on the phone saying, "Hi where are you calling in from?..........India? Really, wow?!?!?! That's weird because I can understand you."

IG-NO-RANT!!! Funny but ignorant.

And then I overheard my white american supervisor talkin to Chinadude with a Chinese accent again.

These people kill me.

i'm in a funk right now so don't ask where i've been. i'm having a whoa is me moment. anyway happy new year. and with that new year comes new responsibilities and new things to accomplish. some tougher than others. here's a list of what 2007 has in store for me:

1. Grad School
2. Auntie
3. Move out of casa de la ’Rents & Buy a condo

1. Grad School- i got in. masters in communications. the job is paying for it 100% in a major that is not job related. get the feeling my boss is not too supportive. BBTF asked me to travel to Cali the week of my first class. he sends me an email from italy asking me if the week of jan 22 is a good week for me to travel.

Email Convo

Subject: Visit to California week of 22 January
BBTF: Are you ok to do this? I'd like for you to be out there to work the presentation with them.
Me: I start school that week. My class is on Tuesdays. With the length of time it takes to get to California I will probably only be able to be there on Thursday and part of the day Friday.
BBTF: Can you miss the class?
Me: I don't think its appropriate to miss the first day of class.
BBTF: Missing class due to work happens all the time, school anticipates this with adult education...

Eff that BooBoo!!!!!
(whenever he wants me to travel he always asks if it fits into my personal schedule, in this case i tell him it doesnt fit, and he basically tells me to disregard my obligation. as an employee i realize that there will be times i will have to miss class because of work but i feel like i should never be asked to miss the first class, and it should never be up for debate. don't you ask if i'm ok with something and i tell you i'm not, and then try to rearrange my personal schedule. if that was the case, don't ask if it fits into my personal schedule.)

anyway i won. i'm going to class that week and i'm going to Cali on wednesday to friday.

2. Auntie Ash: it'll be here around the corner. my niece will be born end of march. i have mixed emotions, excited, nervous, resentful, overjoyed, jealous, motivated. i’m excited to be an aunt, i will spoil that little girl rotten, i want her to be a prissy dramatic little girly girl like me. I’m nervous and scared something might go wrong with the pregnancy or the delivery, i pray that she is a healthy baby and the delivery is smooth. Even though its nothing I could have prevented and everything happens for a reason, I’m mad at my sister for getting pregnant, leaving school and moving home. I’m mad she’ll never have the same college experience I had and she’ll never get to experience being young. She’ll be pregnant when she turns 21. I’m overjoyed that there will be a little bundle of joy running around soon, and hope that she and i can be as close as me and my favorite aunt. I’m jealous that my sister asked MY friend to be her baby’s godmother. But what does a godmother really do? I couldn’t tell you the last time I saw mine. She hasn’t been around in the past 22 years. But my aunt, I talk to her all the time. Ok so I feel a little better about that. The one thing I don’t like about said godmother is that she is extremely bossy and is taking over everything. She took over the baby registry, she’s taking over decorating the baby’s room, and she’s taking over the plans for the shower. I’m annoyed. She comes up with all of these bright ideas without asking the baby’s mother. Now comes the motivated part, this new baby is getting me kicked out of the house. If she weren’t on her way I’d probably be complacent and drag my feet on moving out.

3. Move out of casa de la ’Rents & Buy a condo: I guess I have no other choice. Actually I started my condo search this past summer. But I realized I couldn’t afford to buy a place, pay utilities and furnish it. My parents said that that was a good idea, not to rush and save more money for another year. My father told me to put my money in a certificate of deposit (CD) and gain more interest. Therefore I cannot touch the money until April 7th. A few weeks after that we found out my sister is pregnant and was moving home. On another note my mother is seriously menopausal and is acting crazy. Since my sister moved home she threatened to kick both of us out for no reason, she told us we needed to grow up and get out and had 30 days to do it. She knew about my CD. Super dad saved us from the crazy woman and told us we weren’t going anywhere. Lately Crazy has been saying some off the wall shit, my unsaid new years resolution is to stop fighting with her and just ignore her craziness. If I participate I will probably catch whatever she has. First she pissed me off when she told me I couldn’t cook. I swear she eats whatever I make, and then months later when we discuss preparing it again and she either says it wasn’t that good or I just can’t cook. That’s annoying. And besides that she makes nasty comments about me and the bf’s relationship any chance she gets. So for the past couple of weeks my conversation with her has been limited until this past weekend. She said some hurtful and rude shit. My sister wants a cupcake tree for her shower, so we’ve been practicing our cupcaking skills. I made frosting with MY own ingredients. Crazy thought I made too much. Yelled about it as soon as she walking in the door on Friday and kept yelling about it on Saturday. She told me that I need to hurry up and move out and learn how to cook for one person. She carried on and on for a long time and kept talking about how I needed to hurry up and move. She left and came back yelling about the baby’s furniture is coming, the carpet man is coming next week, and my father is going to be painting, and they’d be temporarily moving my sister’s stuff in the basement (where I live, I have a room, basement is big enough for her stuff) and what have I done about finding a place to live? To myself, “why is she tripping? Does she realize realistically I cannot move until like May? Crazy! And am I such a bad person? Am I a lazy mooch with no job. Shit I have 2 jobs, I’m about to go to school, and I’m never home.) At that point I decide all communication with her will cease any conversations about my living arrangements will be had with my dad. All of this because of some extra frosting. My question is, is she really mad at me, or is she really mad at my sister? Why are they the best of friends, and I’m the outcast. The outcast with a degree, working on a second and has two jobs. What did I do wrong? Don’t get me wrong, my sister is doing her thing, she has a job too, and works more than 40 hrs a week. I don’t suggest my mother put my sister out, nor do I suggest her to be crazy and rude to my sister either. My suggestion to her is to be easy, and get medicated. Stop focusing your frustration on me. Past decisions are out of our hands; this life was meant to be. With that said, it’s my time to move out. If I could do it sooner believe me I would.


And that’s why I’ve been in a funk. I don’t like change.

I'm at work on a conference call and my VP stops in to tell me to stop by when I'm finished. After I finish my call I grab my note pad, talk to BBTF about what VP could possibly want to talk about. He briefs me and off I go, prepared to discuss cost escalation and on time deliveries. I get in and VP says, " You need to pay your corporate credit card bill. Its 60 days late. If you don't pay they're shutting it off. It's only $90. That's all," and he dismisses me. How embarrassing is that? I completely forgot to pay the bill, and another notice just came two days ago. Honestly I don't know what its for, it just says that I'm late to paying $93.72. I'm sure its from my trip to Italy. I did buy those plug transformer thingies that I forgot to expense, and never used. Tried to return it and they wont give me my money back because the receipt is older than 60 days. I suppose I could expense it now but there is still $40 unaccounted for. Who knows, they must have rejected something on my expense report so that fcuked up my bill and now I owe out of pocket. And I'm probably effin up my credit by having $90 outstanding. I pay my personal credit card on time all the time and last time I cheked I had outstanding credit. FCUK!

Ri.damn.diculous, the only reason why I came across these is because I was trying to find a Disney Princess Stylin' Fun Head to donate to the Salvation Army. I picked it off of the Angel tree. It comes in Jasmine and Ariel. I'll go with Jasmine because in reality she's a princess of color. Disney thinks she white.

Look at this one. Why are her lips white? Why do these dolls have to look so Ghetto-fabulous

And why are Becky's lips so big, lookin like Jessica Simpson in this bitch:

And FeFe is extra thickums with her side part. Get it girl!

Sasha, she ain't nothin but a hoochie mama.

Let me tell you this. I work with a bunch of idiots. I’ve gotten to the point where I keep to myself and try to accomplish what they pay me to do. Notice I said try. I don’t even talk to these people anymore because they are so stupid. Anyway I arrived at work around 7:30 am and notice that there is a meeting on my calendar for 8:30 that wasn’t there before I departed yesterday. So 8:27 rolls around and my boss stops by to say in a white man sarcastic tone, “You excited about the meeting this morning?” Sarcastic because he really can’t stand the woman who called the meeting, but had he not invited her it meddle in our business we wouldn’t be in this situation. He doesn’t like her because she’s trying to help us, since we’re all new to the organization and are completely clueless, and she makes it her business to point out all of his flaws on a regular basis. He is stubborn, and takes everything work related so lightly. This lady is queen of sarcasm and annoyance. Let’s call her Red, because she has this bright dyed Annie red hair. Red actually annoys the shit out of me but I know her intentions are good, so I don’t really let her bother me too much. So anyway I respond back to BBTF letting him know in the driest tone possible, that no I’m not excited. I barely even looked at the man because I was in the middle of trying to do my job. So then BBTF tells me he’s on his way to conference room to set up the call because Red (the one who called the meeting) is running late. With knowing that, I decide to take my time. Upon my 5 minute late arrival, Red is not in the room, but I hear her ass on the speaker phone. The bitch called in from her mobile, and says she’s about to order her coffee. Oh hell no. This woman is late because she’s at Starbucks??? You run late because your kid missed the bus, or because you were in an accident or your house caught on fire. You’re not late because you’re ordering a damn tall.venti.mocha.chai.gingerbread.frappaccino.latte.extra.hot.with.a.shot.of.vanilla.espresso .with.soy.milk. I don’t want to hear that shit because I missed breakfast because I was running to your damn meeting, but you’re out having a continental breakfast while we’re all sitting around the conference table starving. And the thing that got me is that she thought that shit was funny. Haha, I’m ordering my coffee, Starbucks should deliver. Too bad you guys can’t have any. Nananana booboo. I swear she is like a child. Her work ethic is piss poor. Last week she was telling me that she works from home on Tuesdays and to call her if I needed help with anything. But she says don’t until after 12 because she had a doctor’s appointment and a nail appointment. Well bitch that’s not working from home, that running errands. Another time she said that she couldn’t travel on business on whatever day it was because she couldn’t miss Halloween. Bitch you’re a grown ass woman. And then she told me about another time that she couldn’t travel because it was her birthday WEEK, and she had a date that she couldn’t cancel. Are you fcuking serious. Don’t tell people at work that kinda shit. On the conference call this morning she said she found a cure for wrinkles, its called weight gain. Really bitch, are you a comedian now. Because that type of joking around is not appropriate for side conversation in a damn conference call. Don’t waste my time when I could be trying work/blogging.

So last week I discovered that I had 5 vacations days left that I needed to take before the end of the year. Plus I already get the last week of the year off because my company shuts down. With 6 weeks of work left I needed to decide when I was going to throw in these vacation days. So I took last Friday off, and I’ll take this Wednesday off, and figure the rest out later.

So back to last Friday. I woke up early to go to the gym by 7am. So I got my little work out on. Walked on the treadmill with my weights, listened to my boy Robin, did the elliptical machine and then 15 minutes of abs and I’m out by 8. Go home take a shower and get dressed. I have to be at the elementary school by 9:30 to tutor my little friend in Reading. I volunteer with this program that my company sponsors called Power to Read. So I do that for an hour, and now I’m craving crab cakes. To myself, “Excellent idea, your mother is having happy hour tonight, so let’s make crab cakes. But you’ve got a full afternoon planned, so you better get your ingredients now.” So I run to the fish market to get some crabmeat, and then to the grocery store to get some parsley and Dijon mustard. (Come to the Record Dish to get the recipe). At this time (11am) I should be on my way to the bf’s house (he took a half day so he could take me to the movies at 1:05) but he calls to say he hasn’t left work yet and he’ll be home in 30. Perfect! So I run home with the purpose of putting the crab in the fridge but decide that the recipe is pretty easy so let’s make it now. That was simple! So put that in the fridge and what do I see, the leftover tacos that I made for dinner last night. Boyfriend loves tacos, so I packed him a lunch and off I went. Got to his house at 12, ate tacos, and to the movies we go. I decided that it wouldn’t be a movie without candy, so I stopped at the convenient store asking him if he’d like anything while I was in there, he said no. As soon as I get back in the car with my skittles and pull out, this fool says, “I think I want some potato chips.” I say, “Ha! I don’t think you do. I asked if you wanted something and you said no. Which means while you were sitting in the car, while I was in the store, you were contemplating whether you wanted some chips but you sat there and didn’t get up. So you didn’t want them that bad.” So then he says, “Cant you stop right here at the gas station to get some chips.” “Hell no, I cant stop. I believe I asked your ass if you wanted something, and you said NO. So now that we’ve pulled out of the driveway, you change your mind. You knew when you saw me walk out of the store that you want some chips, which means you knew that when you were sitting there looking at me through the door when I was at the register. So just for that, no I cant stop. If there is something in walking distance from the movies perhaps you can walk your happy ass to get some chips but this car will not stop for some damn chips.” BF, “Don’t you think that’s kinda mean?” Me, “Don’t you think you were stupid for not saying you wanted chips when I asked?” Moving on. Get to the movies for the 1:05, and this fool spends $8 on a small popcorn and a medium Pepsi. Could have gotten chips for $0.99. Oh well, learn how to make a damn decision. We went to see Borat. I could have passed on that. That movie was not funny to me. After the movie he wanted to take me for a walk on the water, so we held hands and walked for a total of 6 minutes and then we went to Marshall’s. He needed some sweaters, and I found 2 ties that I wanted him to have. We went back to his house and watched the Game Show Network, an old episode of the Match Game was on. And then it was 4pm so I had to go so I could make it to my 4:30 hair appointment. Damn I wish I was at work that day. My job is a minute away from the shop. As soon as I got in the car, my hairdresser called to say she was already at the shop and for me to come down now. Heffa wants to be early for once. Well since I was at BF’s house, it was gonna take me 30 minutes to get there. Damn Damn Damn. I hate getting my hair done on Fridays. My day is Thursday. But ol girl decided that she wanted to go on vacation this week for Thanksgiving, so she wont be here to do my hair, so she said to get it done later in the week so it would last a little longer. Bah! Well I got there at 4:30, she had already started working on 2 heads, and there was one more person in front of me waiting. FCUK did she tell everyone she was in early. Good thing I made those crab cakes already, because I’m gonna make it to the happy hour just in time to throw them in the frying pan. She was working extra slow today, so you know I had an attitude. I was in there until 7. Now I had to run to gymnastics to pick up my check. And then I’m finally home by 7:30 to fry up my crab cakes, and they were bangin, all they needed was some sauce. And then for the rest of the night we sat up eating and drinking. And that concludes my day off.